Playing Catch-Up

It’s funny how being in a foreign country for two Sundays, and at Gillette for another two Sundays results in you not watching much football on TV since week one. I don’t think the woman at the front desk of my hotel in Peru was terribly amused when asked if we could pay extra for them to somehow order the Patriots-Jets game. So I went to the pool and took in the sun instead. I was probably the only smiling Patriots fan that day.

And probably best I wasn’t allowed anywhere near the Atlanta game. Having had season tickets to BC football for the last six seasons, my heart would have been a little torn watching Matty Ice come home to get beat down. I’ll never forget that I got to graduate with that man. I’ll also never forget that the day after we graduated, he signed a $63 million contract while I searched Monster.com for a job with a monster hangover. That sort of thing really puts your life in perspective.

On that note: Never mind. I feel no remorse for beating those losers.

Putting Baltimore to the side for a moment, what is our hump with Denver? Tom Brady is 1-5 against the Broncos, and they are the only franchise he has a losing record to in the regular season. To compare, Drew Bledsoe also faced Denver 6 times as a Patriot. He had 4 straight losses before winning out his last 2 against the Broncos. But his losses were to all to John Elway. Brady hasn’t faced Elway. He’s been beaten up multiple times by the likes of Brian Griese and Jake Plummer, with Kyle Orton just getting his punches in the other week. Oh, but Tom beat Denver quarterback Danny Kanell. Man we showed…that……guy?

And Tennessee? What can you really say? When Pats tickets went on sale, I bought that game thinking, “That’ll be a close one.” Shows what I know. But, seeing history as Tom shattered the record for most touchdowns in a quarter was very worth it. Even if I still can’t feel my feet from the cold.

Now, I understand wanting to spread football throughout the world. The rest of the world is lacking a major part of modern life. Forget the Christian Children’s Fund and their 7 cents a day, we need to get football to those poor bastards around the world that think soccer is a real sport. (Look, I downloaded the demo for the soccer video game on Xbox Live. I got a penalty for tackling an Italian dude. I deleted it immediately.) But how does the NFL choose to do bring joy and happiness to Europe?

Roger Goodell: “We need to send a premiere team to London, so I say we get the Patriots over there. Now which team on their schedule should travel well?”

Some genius: “Well I think the British really love those pirate movies. But the Raiders players might stay over there to avoid their contracts with Al Davis if we ship them to London, so let’s send Tampa Bay!”

And hence, we spread goodwill by having New England beat the crap out of the Succanneers in Old England. Not quite the way to make people excited about the NFL. Glad to see we went opened the season playing nothing but unbeaten teams, to turn around immediately and play two awful winless teams. But I would safely say Tom looks like he’s warming back up.

Now I set Baltimore aside so I can have extra room to rant. Just to be clear, I have got nothing but respect for the talents Ray Lewis and Ed Reed have. Without those two, that famed Baltimore defense that has dominated for the better part of this last decade would be nothing. I also have to make sure I state my respect for Ray Lewis upfront, because he killed two people and got away with it, and I don’t want to die next. So…you’re the man, Lewis!

But what Ray has to learn is that the NFL refs don’t let you get away with as much as the U.S. justice system. He complained after the game about two roughing-the-passer penalties the Ravens received, implying that the officials screwed over Baltimore and cost them the game. Well Ray, those were just two of the nine accepted penalties on the Ravens, totaling 85 yards over the game. And it’s not exactly unheard of to have a highly-penalized Ravens team. They blew it against Cincinnati thanks to penalties. And I’m sure the Ravens haven’t forgotten that defensive holding called on 4^th down that kept the 2007 win streak alive for the Pats.

Do I like the roughing-the-passer calls the league has thrown down this year? Of course not. It nearly cost us the Bills game. The difference between the Patriots and the Ravens? We won in spite of two of those calls with two fantastic drives by Tom Brady, and Mark Clayton dropped an easy catch on 4^th down that would have given them 1^st and goal. You have to accept that this is how the league is now, be smart about hitting quarterbacks, and suck it up when you make the mistakes.

Just as frustrating in the situation, though, is the lack of a sack by the NFL by not fining any of the Ravens for their comments. If you’re going to change the rules, stick to your guns, fine players who complain that they were bad calls.

But Ray Lewis can keep playing Ravens football, make dumb penalties, and complain about the calls after the game. Meanwhile, the Patriots will enjoy our wins. Your choice, Ray.

So Long, and Thanks For All the Picks

The retirement of a player like Tedy Bruschi is the most significant emotional loss that most teams experience. On the field, we’ll move on, as Jerod Mayo is ready to bear the load of this defense. But this is entirely different from losing your best player. Tom Brady is our superstar, our headline news, our future Hall of Famer. Bruschi was the guts of this team. Not the heart, because that’s some Lifetime TV movie BS. Yeah, the guy knew how to love life and always had a smile. But he had his biggest smiles after crushing the hopes and dreams of every fan for the opposing team. That’s not heart, that’s the damned guts of a team.

New England football didn’t know the meaning of the word “good” before he set foot in Foxboro. Most fans know he’s been in 5 of the Patriots’ 6 Super Bowls. When speaking to Patriots fans with more selective memories, they’ll tell you he was in every Patriots Super Bowl that is worth your breath. But what is easy to take for granted is that of the 13 seasons Tedy graced that uniform, 11 were years with winning records. To offer up a contrast, of the 7 seasons prior to his arrival, 6 were losing years. That included a 1 win season and a 2 win season. Tedy was an integral part to the play of the defense, as well as the mentality of the team over those 13 seasons.

Tedy Bruschi is the consummate Patriot. He was the representative of that mantra “the team comes first.” Why? Because Bruschi was a PLAYER. He didn’t aim to be a superstar with the stats and the ego. His goal, every down, was to make that defense better. And he deserves “Comeback Player of the Decade” for coming back from his 2005 stroke and not only playing, but playing at the top of his game ever since, recording 10 tackles in his first game back.

The fact that Tedy spent his entire career on one team is something truly special in this day and age. It speaks to how much he cared about the team. You won’t see him retire one week, only to come back in another uniform next month with whatever team will take him. Just to give you an idea of how long those 13 years really have been, here are just SOME of the players who have left us since Tedy became a Patriot:

Drew Bledsoe, Curtis Martin, Troy Brown, Terry Glenn, Ben Coates, Willie McGinest, Ted Johnson, Ty Law, Lawyer Milloy, Sam Gash, Tebucky Jones, Damien Woody, Antowain Smith, Roman Phifer, Mike Vrabel, Deion Branch, David Givens, David Patten, Christian Fauria, Daniel Graham, Asante Samuel, Eugene Wilson, Rodney Harrison, Roosevelt Colvin, Corey Dillon, Matt Cassel, Larry Izzo, Heath Evans, Jabar Gaffney, Ellis Hobbs, Donte Stallworth, Lamont Jordan, Junior Seau, Adam Vinatieri.

These are just the notable people who have left in the 13 seasons that Bruschi stuck with the Pats. All were his teammates, and Tedy was the last one standing.

Oh, and Tedy also outlived Bill Parcells and Pete Carroll to boot. Not just their stints, but even their influence. He was the final man left on the roster that had been drafted or signed by Parcells, and the only other player left on the team that played under Pete Carroll is Kevin Faulk.

He participated in 22 playoff games, more than any Patriot. Adam Vinatieri is the only active player in the NFL who has been in more playoff games. He has played more games than any other linebacker in Patriots history. With Bruschi on the field, the Patriots are 144-67. In those 211 games, he recorded 1,134 tackles, 30 ½ sacks, 12 interceptions, 18 forced fumbles, and 6 fumble recoveries. But those are just numbers, and none of us will remember those statistics off the top of our heads by tomorrow.

The Fact is, Tedy Bruschi is one of the reasons I love football. Were it not for memories of his fire and fantastic play, I may not have become so obsessive about the Patriots as a whole. And you can’t retire memories. Perhaps no Patriot of the last two decades will be as memorable as him, besides just Tom Brady and maybe Troy Brown. Boston fans reward loyalty with loyalty (tough luck Adam Vinatieri and Johnny Damon), and Bruschi will be no exception to this rule, especially since he is one of the few faces we will associate with all three Super Bowl victories.

Thank you, Tedy. We will never forget that you truly went out on top.

Shooting Yourself in the Leg Figuratively, Literally, and in True Pinhead Fashion.

Pinheads or Patriots? Episode Two
(Originally posted December 3rd, 2008)

Pinheads. That is undoubtedly the only thing worth discussing this week in the NFL. Not even a horrid Patriots defense tops pinheads this week.

On Sunday, Fox showed clips from a rather flattering interview with New York Giants wide-out Plaxico Burress. Burress told Pam Oliver that his immaturity is "what makes Plaxico, Plaxico." Yes, you could really hear the Giants star receiver echoing the great philosophical minds of the 20th century as he looked deep into his complex soul, and realized his self-identity completely relied on skipping practices without telling his coaches. Because he felt like it.

Please. It wasn't cute when Manny was "being Manny," and Plaxico made ugly a whole lot uglier when "being Plaxico" consisted of shooting himself in the leg in a nightclub.

If you got a $35 million contract extension to play Monopoly, with a simple stipulation to not be an idiot, I would hope you would tuck yourself in at 8 P.M. sharp every night after a repeat of "Two and a Half Men," just to ensure you don't screw it all up. But Burress wasn't even being paid millions to play a boring game that takes way too long to end. He's playing one of the best games of all. A game he's great at. Every living person plays games, and he's lucky enough to get PAID MILLIONS to do something actually enjoyable. Now, he's probably destined for jail.

Ricky Williams. Pacman Jones. Maybe you've heard of Michael Vick? These aren't just football players, they are GREAT football players. Or at least, they all could have been if they spent more time on the field than they did smoking bowls, paralyzing bouncers, and killing dogs.

Ignoring what these decisions do to their own personal futures, what do fans have to look forward to for a franchise when a player gets into legal trouble? Let's recall a running back named Jamal Lewis. In 2003, Lewis rushed for 2,066 yards on the season with 14 touchdowns, some of it while injured. He fell just 39 yards short of the best rushing season of all time. He's in good company, with only Eric Dickerson, Terrell Davis, Barry Sanders, and O.J. Simpson having rushed for over 2,000 yards. (Wait, O.J.? Oh God, I can't even go there. I don't have enough time in the day. But oh...so tempting. Continuing with Jamal…)

Coming off this amazing season, Jamal Lewis ended up on the wrong side of a deal involving 5 kilos of cocaine. How did 4 months of jail affect Jamal's numbers? His average yards per attempt dropped one full yard the next season – from 5.3 to 4.3, resulting in a much more humble season. He missed 4 games to suspension, and while that is only one fourth of a season, his numbers halved; 1,006 yards on the season, and 7 TD's. The season after, he missed only one game, yet he dropped to 3.4 yards per attempt, didn't break 1,000 yards on the season, and was limited to a total of 3 touchdowns. Jamal's still plugging away, but this obvious decline came after just 4 months in jail with a 4 game suspension.

By the end of his sentence, Michael Vick will have spent 23 months in a jail where he spends his time washing pots and pans for 12 cents per hour. Plaxico Burress looks to be measuring the drapes for his new cell. Ricky Williams didn't spend time in the big house, but the Canadian Football League isn't much better. If Jamal Lewis is any indication, your All-Pro seasons are wasted when you're away from the game, assuming you can even get back in the league (which Pacman Jones is bordering on.) Vick and Williams can attest that those millions don't last very long, as Ricky was forced to return to the game he retired from, and Michael pulled a Lehman Brothers by filing for bankruptcy.

So if you ever end up playing in the NFL: The next time you want to enjoy a glass of wine while playing with your handgun in a night club, you can console yourself that you are not the first moron in the history of the Earth to blow away millions of dollars and one of the best jobs in the world. Sadly, that's about all you can console yourself with.

Plax, say "Hi" to O.J. for me.