Playing Catch-Up

It’s funny how being in a foreign country for two Sundays, and at Gillette for another two Sundays results in you not watching much football on TV since week one. I don’t think the woman at the front desk of my hotel in Peru was terribly amused when asked if we could pay extra for them to somehow order the Patriots-Jets game. So I went to the pool and took in the sun instead. I was probably the only smiling Patriots fan that day.

And probably best I wasn’t allowed anywhere near the Atlanta game. Having had season tickets to BC football for the last six seasons, my heart would have been a little torn watching Matty Ice come home to get beat down. I’ll never forget that I got to graduate with that man. I’ll also never forget that the day after we graduated, he signed a $63 million contract while I searched Monster.com for a job with a monster hangover. That sort of thing really puts your life in perspective.

On that note: Never mind. I feel no remorse for beating those losers.

Putting Baltimore to the side for a moment, what is our hump with Denver? Tom Brady is 1-5 against the Broncos, and they are the only franchise he has a losing record to in the regular season. To compare, Drew Bledsoe also faced Denver 6 times as a Patriot. He had 4 straight losses before winning out his last 2 against the Broncos. But his losses were to all to John Elway. Brady hasn’t faced Elway. He’s been beaten up multiple times by the likes of Brian Griese and Jake Plummer, with Kyle Orton just getting his punches in the other week. Oh, but Tom beat Denver quarterback Danny Kanell. Man we showed…that……guy?

And Tennessee? What can you really say? When Pats tickets went on sale, I bought that game thinking, “That’ll be a close one.” Shows what I know. But, seeing history as Tom shattered the record for most touchdowns in a quarter was very worth it. Even if I still can’t feel my feet from the cold.

Now, I understand wanting to spread football throughout the world. The rest of the world is lacking a major part of modern life. Forget the Christian Children’s Fund and their 7 cents a day, we need to get football to those poor bastards around the world that think soccer is a real sport. (Look, I downloaded the demo for the soccer video game on Xbox Live. I got a penalty for tackling an Italian dude. I deleted it immediately.) But how does the NFL choose to do bring joy and happiness to Europe?

Roger Goodell: “We need to send a premiere team to London, so I say we get the Patriots over there. Now which team on their schedule should travel well?”

Some genius: “Well I think the British really love those pirate movies. But the Raiders players might stay over there to avoid their contracts with Al Davis if we ship them to London, so let’s send Tampa Bay!”

And hence, we spread goodwill by having New England beat the crap out of the Succanneers in Old England. Not quite the way to make people excited about the NFL. Glad to see we went opened the season playing nothing but unbeaten teams, to turn around immediately and play two awful winless teams. But I would safely say Tom looks like he’s warming back up.

Now I set Baltimore aside so I can have extra room to rant. Just to be clear, I have got nothing but respect for the talents Ray Lewis and Ed Reed have. Without those two, that famed Baltimore defense that has dominated for the better part of this last decade would be nothing. I also have to make sure I state my respect for Ray Lewis upfront, because he killed two people and got away with it, and I don’t want to die next. So…you’re the man, Lewis!

But what Ray has to learn is that the NFL refs don’t let you get away with as much as the U.S. justice system. He complained after the game about two roughing-the-passer penalties the Ravens received, implying that the officials screwed over Baltimore and cost them the game. Well Ray, those were just two of the nine accepted penalties on the Ravens, totaling 85 yards over the game. And it’s not exactly unheard of to have a highly-penalized Ravens team. They blew it against Cincinnati thanks to penalties. And I’m sure the Ravens haven’t forgotten that defensive holding called on 4^th down that kept the 2007 win streak alive for the Pats.

Do I like the roughing-the-passer calls the league has thrown down this year? Of course not. It nearly cost us the Bills game. The difference between the Patriots and the Ravens? We won in spite of two of those calls with two fantastic drives by Tom Brady, and Mark Clayton dropped an easy catch on 4^th down that would have given them 1^st and goal. You have to accept that this is how the league is now, be smart about hitting quarterbacks, and suck it up when you make the mistakes.

Just as frustrating in the situation, though, is the lack of a sack by the NFL by not fining any of the Ravens for their comments. If you’re going to change the rules, stick to your guns, fine players who complain that they were bad calls.

But Ray Lewis can keep playing Ravens football, make dumb penalties, and complain about the calls after the game. Meanwhile, the Patriots will enjoy our wins. Your choice, Ray.

So Long, and Thanks For All the Picks

The retirement of a player like Tedy Bruschi is the most significant emotional loss that most teams experience. On the field, we’ll move on, as Jerod Mayo is ready to bear the load of this defense. But this is entirely different from losing your best player. Tom Brady is our superstar, our headline news, our future Hall of Famer. Bruschi was the guts of this team. Not the heart, because that’s some Lifetime TV movie BS. Yeah, the guy knew how to love life and always had a smile. But he had his biggest smiles after crushing the hopes and dreams of every fan for the opposing team. That’s not heart, that’s the damned guts of a team.

New England football didn’t know the meaning of the word “good” before he set foot in Foxboro. Most fans know he’s been in 5 of the Patriots’ 6 Super Bowls. When speaking to Patriots fans with more selective memories, they’ll tell you he was in every Patriots Super Bowl that is worth your breath. But what is easy to take for granted is that of the 13 seasons Tedy graced that uniform, 11 were years with winning records. To offer up a contrast, of the 7 seasons prior to his arrival, 6 were losing years. That included a 1 win season and a 2 win season. Tedy was an integral part to the play of the defense, as well as the mentality of the team over those 13 seasons.

Tedy Bruschi is the consummate Patriot. He was the representative of that mantra “the team comes first.” Why? Because Bruschi was a PLAYER. He didn’t aim to be a superstar with the stats and the ego. His goal, every down, was to make that defense better. And he deserves “Comeback Player of the Decade” for coming back from his 2005 stroke and not only playing, but playing at the top of his game ever since, recording 10 tackles in his first game back.

The fact that Tedy spent his entire career on one team is something truly special in this day and age. It speaks to how much he cared about the team. You won’t see him retire one week, only to come back in another uniform next month with whatever team will take him. Just to give you an idea of how long those 13 years really have been, here are just SOME of the players who have left us since Tedy became a Patriot:

Drew Bledsoe, Curtis Martin, Troy Brown, Terry Glenn, Ben Coates, Willie McGinest, Ted Johnson, Ty Law, Lawyer Milloy, Sam Gash, Tebucky Jones, Damien Woody, Antowain Smith, Roman Phifer, Mike Vrabel, Deion Branch, David Givens, David Patten, Christian Fauria, Daniel Graham, Asante Samuel, Eugene Wilson, Rodney Harrison, Roosevelt Colvin, Corey Dillon, Matt Cassel, Larry Izzo, Heath Evans, Jabar Gaffney, Ellis Hobbs, Donte Stallworth, Lamont Jordan, Junior Seau, Adam Vinatieri.

These are just the notable people who have left in the 13 seasons that Bruschi stuck with the Pats. All were his teammates, and Tedy was the last one standing.

Oh, and Tedy also outlived Bill Parcells and Pete Carroll to boot. Not just their stints, but even their influence. He was the final man left on the roster that had been drafted or signed by Parcells, and the only other player left on the team that played under Pete Carroll is Kevin Faulk.

He participated in 22 playoff games, more than any Patriot. Adam Vinatieri is the only active player in the NFL who has been in more playoff games. He has played more games than any other linebacker in Patriots history. With Bruschi on the field, the Patriots are 144-67. In those 211 games, he recorded 1,134 tackles, 30 ½ sacks, 12 interceptions, 18 forced fumbles, and 6 fumble recoveries. But those are just numbers, and none of us will remember those statistics off the top of our heads by tomorrow.

The Fact is, Tedy Bruschi is one of the reasons I love football. Were it not for memories of his fire and fantastic play, I may not have become so obsessive about the Patriots as a whole. And you can’t retire memories. Perhaps no Patriot of the last two decades will be as memorable as him, besides just Tom Brady and maybe Troy Brown. Boston fans reward loyalty with loyalty (tough luck Adam Vinatieri and Johnny Damon), and Bruschi will be no exception to this rule, especially since he is one of the few faces we will associate with all three Super Bowl victories.

Thank you, Tedy. We will never forget that you truly went out on top.

The Curse of the Phil-y Bolt

Pinheads or Patriots? Episode 3
(Originally posted December 11, 2008)

There is a sole fact about sports that is completely true, yet will never be proven by scientists because of their bigotry towards athletic people: The curse that a bitter man places on a sports team truly works. Boston can safely blame 86 years of misery on Babe Ruth. The Chicago Cubs have been unable to win it all since ejecting both a man and his billy goat from a 1945 World Series game, apparently insulting the animal. And of course, who can forget the curse that all of Pottsville, Pennsylvania placed on the Cardinals football franchise when the Pottsville Maroons organization was controversially suspended in 1925, resulting in the second place Cardinals becoming NFL champions. Though "the Curse of the Pottsville Pennsylvanians" doesn't have the fame of "Curse of the Bambino" or "Curse of the Billy Goat," you can't argue with the fact that the Arizona Cardinals are one of only two NFL teams that have never gone to a conference championship game (the other being the six-year-old Houston Texan franchise.) Curses from pathetically humiliated men work.

After the 2006 AFC Divisional Playoff game, when Philip Rivers screamed at Ellis Hobbs; "You're acting like the sorriest corner in the league," Patriots Nation as a whole chuckled. Why would they think anything of it? The New England defense had just embarrassed the Super Bowl-favorite San Diego Chargers, and a "healthy debate" about dance moves began between the players, with many tempers flaring. Yes, Patriots fans laughed then, but it is not the victor who laughs last, as many seem to think. No, it is the man who holds the hex who laughs much later than the victor, as today, Ellis Hobbs actually IS the sorriest cornerback in the league. On that day, fans everywhere bore witness to a live cursing of Ellis Hobbs that has since infected the rest of the Patriots secondary.

New England defenses have defined the Bill Belichick era. In the 2001 Super Bowl against the Rams, the underdog Patriots held the Greatest Show on Turf to 17 points, in spite of 427 total yards by the Mike Martz offense. "Defense Wins Championships" has been heralded ever since. Every year, despite injuries, Bill Belichick would find a way to have an all-star defense. He signed an undrafted rookie who hadn't played his last year in college. He put a veteran wide receiver in at cornerback. And the D rarely wavered. And then last week, New England let Seneca "My mother doesn't even know who I am" Wallace throw for 3 touchdowns against them. Several weeks ago, Brett Favre completed a 3rd and 17 in overtime, which he threw well short of the first down mark, and yet they went on to win the game. New England currently ranks a very mediocre 16th in overall defense (keeping in mind it has ranked in the top 10 for four out of the last five seasons.)

With the curse of Philip Rivers came a strange trade off. We had spent years with no-name, underachieving wide receivers getting us by, while our star defensive backs kept opposing offenses in check. David Givens, Reche Caldwell, and Tim Dwight aren't names that keep defensive coordinators up at night, but the Patriots won games with so-so wide-outs that didn't need to blow away defenses, just get by. Then in one fell swoop, Poppa Belichick bought a brand new offense, grabbing Randy Moss, Wes Welker, and Donte Stallworth last season.

And our defensive backs? Well starting this season, they all seemed to remind fans of the old wide-outs. Rodney Harrison was analogous to old reliable Troy Brown; beloved, invaluable, but inevitably wear and tear catches up. Deltha O'Neal is the new Reche Caldwell – once a hyped starter, left out to dry in free agency, only to be picked up by the Patriots...who then realize why these players were easy to get in the first place. Asante Samuel was Deion Branch – the only truly solid option, but ultimately, both had agents who knew they could get better pay for their overrated talents elsewhere. And Ellis Hobbs? He's body-swapped for Chad Jackson. You remember the thrill when the Patriots drafted the first wide-out of the 2006 Draft. That was Jackson's first and last thrill he ever gave New England fans. Hobbs, a first day draft pick, standing at an intimidating 5'9", who is supposed to be the Pats' number one corner, is the 53rd leading tackler for a defensive back in the league.

Clearly, the voodoo magic that Philip Rivers learned at NC State has doomed the Patriots secondary, and there is nothing else to blame. At all. Maybe a little blame could go to the fact that we let go of pretty good defensive backs like Asante Samuel and Randall Gay, not wanting to pay the bill. Maybe. And sure, MAYBE when you look at the draft classes between 2000 and 2006, which make up a major core of key Patriots players over the Belichick era (i.e. Tom Brady, Richard Seymour, Matt Light, Deion Branch, Jarvis Green, Ty Warren, Dan Koppen, Vince Wilfork, Ben Watson, Logan Mankins, Matt Cassel, Laurence Maroney, and Stephen Gostkowski, to name a few), the retention rate of defensive backs is questionable. Of the 12 defensive backs the Pats drafted in that time, only 2 remain.

Maybe management could open up its wallet when it's called for. Maybe they could draft smarter. But much more likely, it's a curse. Philip Rivers may have no control of his own team's destiny (as the Chargers can at best finish 8-8 this season in the weakest division in football), but man is he affecting the Patriots.

After all, at the end of every season, 31 teams each need to blame someone, and with the Red Sox breaking Bambino and the Celtics putting Len Bias to rest, New England fans might just have to start analyzing actual problems with their sports teams if there aren't any new witches to burn.