KICKOFF

The last time Tom Brady lost a regular season game was December 10th, 2006. That means, as of the night of the game against the Bills, it’s been 2 years, 9 months, and 4 days. A lot of Tuesday Morning Quarterbacks have said that Tom Brady looked “rusty,” “jittery,” “off-balance,” and acting like he's forgotten how to be Tom Brady. From what I saw, if Tom Brady forgot ANYTHING, he forgot how to lose. Since Tom’s last loss:

1.) Michael Vick was accused of, convicted, and served his sentence for dog fighting.

2.) Brett Favre retired and unretired. Twice.

3.) Tom Brady impregnated two gorgeous women.

4.) And the iPhone debuted, was reinvented, and then re-reinvented.

Monday night wasn’t the perfection of 2007, which is our most recent memory. But that last regular season game he lost was a 21-0 blowout by the Miami Dolphins. And the quarterback that outplayed Tom? Name him. Really, go ahead.

Can’t remember?

Joey Harrington. Admit it, you barely remember Joey Harrington even PLAYED for the Dolphins. So yes, Tom isn’t perfect. Let’s get over it, people. He still won the game, and if you can’t even remember the last quarterback who beat Tom Brady, who will remember two average quarters from a game he won?

The Budweiser 4th Down Rants of the Week

Here’s everything you need to know about this week without wasting much time on any point, officially sponsored by Budweiser. ***

- Jon Gruden’s announcing job on Monday proved he deserved to get fired by the Bucs. “Todd Light” apparently played several series on Monday. THERE IS A LIST OF NAMES RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. Get the two-time Pro Bowler’s name right.

- Richard Seymour was missed in the run defense as Fred Jackson performed better than a 2nd string running back should. Pass rush got more penetration than a U-Mass sorority during Senior Week, so we could be in good shape. Of course, this could just be proof that the Bills O-Line is as bad as everyone said it would be.

- On that note of pass rush, apparently the “Tom Brady rule” is turning the NFL into a game of Two-Hand-Touch, as we saw on with that questionable call on Thomas and absurd call on Wilfork. Let’s strap some skirts on the quarterbacks while we’re at it.

- Pray to God Jerod Mayo is okay in less than 8 weeks. Short of some miracle trade, we may have to grab Derrick Brooks, who is example number two as to why Jon Gruden is an idiot, giving up on a Pro Bowl linebacker.

- Thank you for having a sack, Leodis McKelvin, taking that ball out of the end zone with basically no one to block for you. Classy fans in Buffalo are glad you have more of a sack than J.P. Losman by publishing your address. Buffalo teenagers returned the favor by spray painting a picture of said sack on his front lawn, along with the score of the game. I'm sure it was a compliment. Also, reason number three to illustrate Jon Gruden is an idiot, as he seemed to think there was no choice but for the Patriots to do an onside kick. Monday nights are going to be painful.

***Note: Not so much "officially sponsored by" Budweiser, as "creative assistance provided by."