One Round Left

Pinheads or Patriots? Episode 9

(Originally posted January 17th, 2009)

I would make a rather poor psychic. My Super Bowl picks of Indianapolis and Carolina both lost their first games of the postseason. To the thousands of you who placed bets based upon my expert analysis, I apologize. But many of these games had bright sides for New England fans.

Eli Manning is going home. Peyton already choked on his fruit salad. Bill Parcells got to buy the groceries this year, but he's not invited to dinner. Yet, Patriots Nation held it breath until Sunday night, as one team we could not stand to win remained. And whose fault is it they were still standing?

Sorry. My bad. Six weeks ago, I made some lame crack in this column about how Philip Rivers had cursed the Patriots, yet had no control over his own team that could finish 8-8 at best. Well, I blew it. I committed the dreaded Inadvertent Reverse-Jinx, as the Chargers then won out the rest of their season. I was pretty terrified they might make it to the championship. But in my favor was the losing streak of high-seeded teams over the last 5 years. How did this hurt the low-seeded Chargers?

Pittsburgh had the 2 seed, which apparently hurts them. But the Chargers already had my Inadvertent Reverse-Jinx. Science class taught us with fun magnets that two positives repel, thus, these two supernatural reasons to win cancelled each other out, dooming the Chargers.
Don't believe me?

Good. Because the truth is, you don't need hocus pocus to explain that game, the Chargers were just a bad team. You know the old saying, "What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?" In that sentence, the Steelers were both the unstoppable force and the immovable object, while the Chargers were the innocent bystander that gets rolled over without a chance. They were lucky that their first opponent in the playoffs have choked more than any team in the last decade.

As for the other games, the Ravens looked very impressive on the road against the Titans. But possibly lacking Terrell Suggs and Samari Rolle, that dominant defense might let up a few big plays.

The Eagles are making a case, despite an unspectacular performance by Brian Westbrook. It doesn't hurt that Asante Samuel is one of the most dominant postseason defensive backs in history.

I am still in shock that Arizona developed a defense. If this isn't a 2 week fluke, the Cardinals might reach their first Super Bowl. The curse of the Pottsville Pennsylvanians, one of the last great sports curses, may be shattered.

But I put my faith in Pottsville. It took 86 years to break the curse of one man, the curse by an entire city should last a few hundred, minimum. Morseso, I base my assumption on the smack-down Philly gave to the Giants, I think they can figure out the sudden resurgent Arizona defense.

My new Super Bowl pick is the Steelers vs. the Eagles. Do I care who goes? Nah. There's no particular bad blood left over with the four remaining teams and the Patriots. I'm just looking for a good game now. But based upon my picks, if you're a smart gambler, maybe you should just place your bets on a Baltimore-Arizona Super Bowl.