The Biggest Losers - Playoff Style

Pinheads or Patriots? Episode 5
(Originally posted December 25, 2008)

Week 17, and we finally are at the heart of what Boston sports should always be about: performing just well enough to be in contention, but ultimately forced to root for random teams so we can make the playoffs. We've been a little spoiled the last few years with the Patriots and Celtics domination, plus the Yankees sudden decline. But for the first time in a long while, New England fans will be rooting for the New York Jets. And for the first time ever, SOMEONE will actually be rooting for the Jacksonville Jaguars.

Typically, Boston sports fans have no one to blame but our teams for being in these situations. We could have won more games, performed when it mattered, not make such terrible decisions, this or that, X Y Z, etc etc. For once, we can actually blame a poorly designed system. Pending possible victories by the Patriots, Ravens, Dolphins, Chargers, and Seahawks, an 11-5 New England team could miss the play-offs, while 8-8 San Diego and Arizona head into the postseason.

"Hey, that's how the system is designed, it's just a rare fluke that will never happen again." Somewhere, Al Gore is sympathizing greatly with Patriots Nation. His fruit basket's in the mail.

So basically, Arizona and San Diego benefit from being in the two weakest divisions in football, as 6 of their 16 games are guaranteed to be against awful teams , while New England had to play in the most cutthroat division and actually have a COMPETITION for the post season. Oh, and did I mention Arizona will get a home game in the play-offs? Which is great for them, since they haven't been able to win a single game on the East Coast this season. Too bad they will be forced to go through the Meadowlands on a possible path to the Super Bowl.

The Patriots have a good reason for losing 5 games this season. Losing the MVP of the league the year before typically results in a drop-off in production. San Diego still has all their stars. Arizona has a quarterback supposedly competing for MVP, though neither he nor Drew Brees must be terribly valuable if they each only have 8 wins with one game left in the season. So what's with the showering of awards on losers? Last season the Cardinals were 8-8, and the Saints had just one less win than they have right now. What's so valuable about not improving at all?

Unproven Matt Cassel has filled in more than adequately for a future Hall of Fame quarterback. First round draft pick Matt Ryan turned the shameful Atlanta Falcons into a playoff team in his rookie season. Chad Pennington stands to possibly increase the Dolphins wins by literally 1000%, in spite of trading away former Defensive Player of the Year Jason Taylor. Those three have real value. And in these tough economic times, we know what sort of value we look for when going to the stores. Bang-for-your-buck kind of value, not "Well this satellite dish doesn't work in poor weather when I actually want to be indoors watching TV, but at least I get 4000 channels" value.

And who says Santa isn't real? Arizona and San Diego may be getting honest-to-God gifts this Christmas, while the No Fun League sticks coal in New England's stocking one more time.

Merry Christmas, everyone. And for the first (and hopefully last) time, Go Jets.