8.21.2009

Obligatory Brett Favre Post

The Patriot Fact has little to say about Brett Favre's continued lack of knowledge of what the word "retirement" means. Since the only possible way it affects the Patriots is if both teams end up in the Super Bowl, so we can exact revenge for Super Bowl XXXI, little comment is needed. I was stuck in a chair for an hour and a half that infamous day, and the only topic on all three channels of ESPN the whole time was Favre. So for 24/7 coverage of Brett's career statistics, memorable games, workouts, contract signings, sleeping habits, and love life, refer to them.


The only thing I can offer you that they won’t is three reasons why you shouldn't let Brett Favre into your survival party when the zombie attack comes:


1.) You can't trust Brett Favre as far as he can throw a ball at the end of the season. Which is shorter than you can throw him. So when he says, "Go run through the zombie pit to save that helpless child. Don’t worry, I’ll cover you,” do so at your own risk.

2.) On that note, holding the league record for interceptions gives me little faith in his aim. When bullets are limited, I don't want the Brett Favre style of shooting to dictate how ammo is used.

3.) If he turns into a zombie, he WILL BE that one zombie that just won't die.


While I'm sorry for just wasting 60 seconds of your life, but there is literally NOTHING I can say that won’t be repeating some news organization, as apparently every sport goes on hiatus when Brett Favre makes decisions. But at least now you know: zombies show up and Brett Favre needs a posse? Steal his Wrangler jeans for their durability, and send him on his way.

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